How to Relax (if only for a moment)

So we're driving down the road on our way to the pizza place and I said to Don, "that if I was any more relaxed, I'd be in a coma".  A bit of context would probably make this more meaningful wouldn't it?  Hmmm, well in the current time, we are in the process of moving.  We're a week and a half away from being able to move into the house that is being built and the new owners get this house in four weeks.  The new place is three hours away and we have to move a tractor, five pieces of tractor equipment, all our house stuff and two horses and so far I have no fences built there and I have two chickens who don't have a chicken house to go to there.  Easy move?  No, don't think so but that is the totally cool thing about my opening statement.  Seriously, in spite of all this, I am calm, cool and entirely collected.  I should mention that in my younger days and right up until about two years ago, I was a chronic worrier to the point where even if all was fabulous, I still worried about the 'what ifs'.  What if I have the horses and can't feed them in ten years?  What if we can't afford to buy hay and I have to face selling them or what if my hay guy quits producing hay or what if our company doesn't continue to do good business when we're ready to plan our retirement.....  I think you get the point and you can see why my state of calm is so noteworthy.

About four years ago a new friend loaned me a book and that was really the beginning of the new and improved version of me, the me that is becoming more peaceful as each day goes by.  The book was Conversations With God (Book 1) by Neale Donald Walsch.  It was like a light went on in my head, and that book was quickly followed by the second, which led to The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle which led to another and another.....My current two favourite books are the third in the series of 'Conversations' books and The Power of Now.  At the same time I had begun meditating and for the first time in my life I began to truly focus on 'attaining' peace, looking for heaven on earth as it were.

The first year was somewhat forced as far as the meditation was concerned.  I had no idea that we humans are compulsive thinkers.  I discovered that as quickly as I had one thought the next one was closing the gap.  As a general rule, it's tough quieting ones mind and putting reins on 'the monkey mind', but because I have tended to be a busy person who has lots of things on the go, it seemed doubly difficult.  But I prevailed with the help of a lovely CD called Nada Himalaya (available for download here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eW4KYS13cZ0 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eW4KYS13cZ0).  Bit by bit, for a moment or two now and again, the 'monkey' learned to doze off and those moments continue to increase in frequency and length.

I learned too about meditating throughout the day no matter what I'm doing.  One of my favorite place to remember to do this is when I'm standing at the kitchen sink and washing dishes.  The water is warm and sudsy, the house is quiet and I take a deep breath and as the air gently comes out, I let my shoulders drop down, loose their tension......and I work reeeeally hard at not working really hard to relax.  Instead I just let the relaxation sweep over me like a gentle wave.  The hard part that comes right on the heels of that flow is putting away the impulse to think about the process which would defeat the whole exercise.  But with time and practice, that second of absolute mental quietness becomes two seconds, then three and so on.  This is also a great thing to do when you're outside working in the garden or walking the dog.  Stop what you are doing, whatever it might be, breeaathe and let go of the cares and thoughts that occupy your mind, and just feel that tiny kernel of peace growing a little bigger in your soul each time.  I think that as you do this practice, it strengthens mind connections, making it easier to sink into that quiet state more quickly and more automatically.  What you are doing here is beginning a habit, but one that you've chosen and one that is beneficial in every way to you. 

As time has gone by, I've found that my quietness of spirit is spreading out into the rest of my life and in those moments that come daily to all of us, that used to aggravate me, get me all riled up, have me thinking unkind thoughts, it's becoming more likely that after a moment or two of indulging in the negative, that I will release it instead of holding the hurt or irritation close, push it away and direct my gaze elsewhere.  Like maybe instead, I'll just soak in the blueness of a spring sky, or the whiteness of the clouds piled up along the horizon. 

Of course, there are detractors of Mr. Walsch's books, Eckart Tolle's writings, even detractors of the very idea of seeking real serenity.  And they all have feelings and opinions on these subjects that are valid - to them.  They live with a belief system that feels right to them and that's wonderful.  If they find fulfillment then I am happy for them.  All I can say in response, is that I am a different person and what floats their boat, is like an anchor dropped through the bottom of mine.  I think you simply need to look at the results in each 'way', to see whether it is good for that person.  There is room for billions of different opinions on every possible subject and if your opinion, your choices bring you to a point of spiritual quietude, compassion for everyone including those who don't agree with you, a willingness to learn to be non-judgemental, patient and accepting of other peoples directions in life, then that is the road that you should be on.  And that's why I am here, because it gives me joy, peace and understanding.  Through the last three or four years, I've followed signposts that have come up along the way, I've been willing to step outside the religious box that I used to live in and I'm finally beginning to actually enjoy life.  What more could I ask?

By the way, we've had Ambra and Sierra (the horses) for the last fourteen years of their lives, so I guess it could be said that all my worrying was a total waste of time.  Should have spent it doing something that I enjoyed wouldn't you say?  Anyway, here's to an amazing day for you!

I Voted Already!

I love dogs, have two little darlings of my own, have always had dogs since leaving my mothers home and my kids both have dogs.  We are a dog family.  One of these days coming up, I'm going to give you another story about dogs that gives me hope that there is a change in the making in this world, but that is for another day.  Right now, I want to talk about why I voted for the underdog in this Canadian election and why I love the internet.

Yes, I voted in advance polling last Saturday and I put my X firmly beside the Green Party's named representative in Nova Scotia, Jason Blanch.  And my husband, who did it because he figured that he wanted to 'spoil' his ballot, but at the same time couldn't bring himself to not vote, put an X beside Jason's name.  At this point, four days later, after I've done a bit of reading and passed on what I've learned to him, he says he's glad he 'spoiled' his ballot the way he did.  You see, as we have gotten older, we've become even more focused on things like honesty and integrity than we were as young adults and we are fed up with governments and corporate manipulations of said governments and to be quite honest, there was a point a few weeks ago when we were verging on just not bothering.  To hell with civic duty because it makes no difference anyway, you know what I mean.

But then the news media decided that the Green Party was not going to be included in the leadership debate and that was when I began to do some investigation of my own.  That is why I love, love, love the interent.  You got a question?  Google it!  You can find out how to do anything or get the answers to anything.  I once wanted to put up crown moldings in my dining room and was too cheap to hire someone, but I found a video that explained it and got out my old mitre saw and I gotta say, my dining room and living room and kitchen looks great.  So anyway, I spent some time reading about Elizabeth May, read most of the party platform and as a result of that and my general feelings of outrage at someone who's name is on the ballot that I was going to be marking, not being allowed to speak to our country, I voted for Jason Blanch.  Sort of a 'that'll teach'em' reaction.

Today I was going to call my mom who lives on the other side of the country and is a staunch Conservative supporter and while I have no intention of talking to her about my vote because I'm not overly interested in getting into any kind of debate with "my mother" because you know how that can turn out, I was moved to find some reasons why I could feel that at least in some small measure, Elizabeth May was no worse than Harper as a leader. So yes, basically looking for dirt.   And there again, I gotta say that I love, love, love the internet.  I got to read about Harper wanting to get rid of the per-vote subsidy which basically protects Canada from governments who are in the pockets of big corporations.  While Steven Harper is giving tax cuts to corporations (who have deep pockets), from 25% down to today's 16% and tomorrows 15%, and subsidies to help fund research and development by those same corporations, and is unwilling to charge polluters for cleanup, hence no cap and trade rules, he also would like to, and will if/when he is back in office get rid of the measly $2.04 that each of our votes, yours and mine, benefits the party that we want to vote for.  That means that if those other parties aren't going to suck up to the corporations, they will have to run their campaigns with less money because the corporations aren't going to be donating to them.

I also found out how the Conservatives would like to start internet surveillance of citizens and warrantless wiretapping.  Does this sound like big brother to the south of us?  Mr. Harper also refuses to close a number of donation loopholes because doing so would cut that party off from the easy access to corporate monies.  Here's how it works: Elections Canada only gets notified of individual donations over $200.  So a corporation can donate $200 to each  riding association of the party and that is how they can get around the limit of $1100 .For example: in 2007 conservatives had about 308 riding associations.  Multiply that by $200 and a corporation can donate $60,500. instead of being limited to $1100.00 like everyone else. There is also no age limit and so in 2007 a Liberal member received about $27,000.00 from three people, two twin boys, aged 11 years and a 14 year old boy who turned out to be children of some big shot in a pharmaceutical company.  So it seems that this is a loophole that is used by more than just the Conservatives.

I also got to read about the 'in and out' scandal which has been used by a couple parties, one of them the Conservatives, so that they can go over the legal limit of their advertising budget.  This is an issue that is still before the courts today in Canada and while I'm not going to go into all the details here as this would indeed get a little wordy, if you are curious you can find out more at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_and_Out_scandal.  I also got to find out more about Helena Guergis, who alleges that she was initially approached in 2006 to go along with the 'in/out' ploy and refused, and was later kicked out of cabinet after allegations of fraud, extortion and various other nasties.  She has since been cleared by the RCMP of all those allegations which apparently started in the office of the Conservatives lawyer according to the Wikipedia link mentioned above.  Punishment for not playing the game.....do you think?

I used to watch more of the US politics and found our own dull, but frankly, I just wasn't paying attention.  Now more than ever, I'm glad I voted for the Green Party.  And I know that it will be many, many years before they are a recognized force to be reckoned with, but here's the thing; change starts with the first step and if just one of the people running gets a seat, those of us who care about our country and our environment and the air we breathe and the water we drink, and our reputation before the world, than we will have a squeaky wheel that stands up for the things we believe in.  An underdog today maybe, but here's hoping ............

Change Is Coming!

I read an anecdote, written by a vet who was performing the sad duty of putting to sleep a much beloved family pet.  He was speaking of the reaction by the child who had said goodbye to the little dog that had been there from the moment he was born and was now only a memory.  The little boy said, in response to the musings of the adults about why dogs have to live such short lives compared to us," 'People are born so that they can learn how to live a good Life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?' The Six-year-old continued, 'Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.'"  I saved it because it is one of those 'from the mouths of babes' sort of statements, and also points to the dilemma of the nature of man, in the current context of course.

It would not have been a surprise if the little boy had had a meltdown, tears, heartbroken sobbing accompanied by a refusal to be comforted.  Instead, he had such a moment of wisdom, that I'm sure not only amazed his mother and father, but gave comfort to them instead of them having to comfort him.  Maybe it's just me, but I'm drawn in by what he said.  Possibly because I have two little dogs that we treat like they're our kids, or maybe because I once was a mom with little ones to watch over at those sadly momentous events of life, so perhaps that is why that utterance brings a small lump to my throat.  But the clincher, as I paused to savor his words, was the part about people being born so that they can learn how to live a good life. 

The last couple of years has been an awakening on several levels for me.  Our renovations have been done on this house for few years now and we live in the countryside of Nova Scotia, Canada, in a teeny town whose population is 1000.  In winter, there is not much to do and so I've spent an inordinate amount of time on the internet.  Between my husband and I, the interests run the gamut of the stock market, news events around the world, the environment, financial news, physics, UFO's and spiritual evolution of the human soul.  And the most pre-eminent change as a result of this inundation of information, is that I am both inspired and totally horrified at this humanity that is us.  Probably not the right way to phrase that part, at least not in the grammatical sense, but I do it to highlight that maybe what we see is not the inner man, but has more to do with the cultural myths that we live by.
The little boys remarks also have more to do with the humanity that lives in accordance with these numerous and burdensome habits and traditions, as well the six billion different perspectives on every subject under the sun. The result is that I feel like the world is unravelling, and yet it's not, and I feel off balance all the time.  And I can't help but wonder, 'are we learning to be good?'.

In spending far too much time on several 'Cause' sites as well as news blogs, I've learned things about intentionally caused suffering that defies description.  There is such an ocean of torment out there that it makes drive-by shootings look at least understandable on some weird level.  People are doing things to one another, to children and to animals, and to our planet that fly in the face of protestations about the compassion of man, love of the planet, and so on and what amazes me, is that we continue down the road 'well travelled', also known as 'status quo', rather than waking up from this trance and doing a complete 180.  You would think that the benefit of 'known history' would also influence us to change course.

In the book 'Conversations With God' by Neale Donald Walsch, there is a comparison between humanity's development and a football game, and the statement was made that we are essentially speaking, at the 12 yard line.   Not being a sports enthusiast, I am going to have to assume that means that we are a very long way from scoring a touchdown.  Our obvious pride in human accomplishments, doesn't seem to have made much impact on our willingness to use and abuse and mistreat one another, indeed often serving only to make it easier to accomplish those 'bad' acts.

But even as I consider all this, I can't help but make several other observations which all lead me to wonder if we are not arriving at a cross roads which could just possibly take us in that new direction that we so desperately need if this planet and its various inhabitants are to survive.  Once upon a time, it was acceptable to own slaves, beat women and use children to perform dangerous tasks, mistreat animals, wipe out whole species, empty a cities raw waste into the ocean or a lake or the river, and we had no recourse but to accept the mistreatment and deception heaped upon us by those who ruled over us.  Tell me, are times changing?  We now have laws against those things; no more beatings, children aren't sent up chimneys with a broom and a rope tied around their waists, and we have more laws controlling what we can do on the edge of a stream, than we can keep track of.  We monitor the numbers of any given species and at the very least are willing to add them to a list of endangered animals, in the faint hope of preventing one more from disappearing forever.

Regarding the environment, there is a push to cutting back on meat consumption as a result of findings by the WHO concerning the carbon footprint caused by production. I've even seen discussion on scientists attempting to 'make' meat in labs.  As well, last night I happened to stumble across an article about 200 Chinese people who were 'gathered' together by one man using something like Twitter and with the sole purpose of stopping a truck from continuing down the road with its load of dogs, destined for slaughter in a local meat market.  Despite having a long history of eating cats and dogs and treating them in the most abominable way, those people are changing that country!  And for anyone who is curious as to how the standoff between driver and crowd ended, those dogs are now in a shelter and receiving treatment for the various injuries and illnesses that they were found to have.

As to the ruling classes and their deceptions,  is it possible that groups like Wikileaks, Anonymous and Openleaks may be the tool that breaks down that wall that has kept the common man a virtual prisoner.  Further, we need only look to that incredible event that occurred in Egypt a few weeks ago which saw them drive out a thirty year dictator using mostly peaceful mobilization of the people.  Absolutely awesome and maybe not soon repeated but a step towards a change and we are all blessed for having been witness to it.

So I flop back and forth, from despair to hopefulness and often right back to despair, but of this one thing I am convinced and it is this; that the 'knowledge' that has brought us, in a mere hundred years (give or take a few)to the brink, might just morph into a new appreciation and respect for one another and the entire natural world and ultimately our place in the cosmos.  We live in momentous times and my focus will be on remembering that despite everything else that is going on.  So with that, you are released with love into this world to do your part in bringing about the change.

It's All Just Opinion Isn't It?

I've been involved in an inner debate for a while now and I think that it's time I made a decision or quit debating.  There comes a point you know!  So let me fill you in as I think if you've paused here long enough to read the first few words, you might be just a little curious.  Maybe curious enough to want to check out the second line and so on and so on.

I'm old now or at least old enough to have begun to fully appreciate this planet, this world of immense grace and balance, and the life that moves across its surface.  And with the daily chaos of child raising long passed, and the chore of "the daily grind", otherwise known as work, pretty much in the past also, I find that a great deal of 'thought power' is now available for contemplation of the mysteries and realities that have governed and will govern our days til this game is over.  That statement in and of itself, is a subject for another day, so mental note to self!

The thing is, for a long time now, I've been aware of corruption and manipulation as regards today's marketplace especially as it concerns the stock market and the financial industry worldwide, as I'm sure most are at this point.  And I read all the same articles, and exposes and opinions  and editorials about our various governments in all of the countries.  We have that luxury that many of our parents and definitely our grandparents, never had and whether we should call it a luxury or a curse is hard to say, but we have information.  And if we have a question, we can ask and find answers.
As a result of living in a 'democratic' nation and next door to a 'democratic' nation, we also have the expectation of the luxury of the right to choose who shall govern us.  And to that end, we have grown up with the expectation that we will be informed by our media, those people who used to report the news……. instead of steering the news and subsequently the opinions of the populace.

My expectations have changed.  In the last seven days, and that because of the media and their all too obvious efforts to make sure that you and I don't get the whole story.   As a lead-in to the reasons that those expectations have changed, I should mention that I've been kind of involved in the last three or four years in several forums that revolve around the things that are important to me and in that time, I've learned incredible things, staggering things, horrifying things, and simply sad things, about human nature by listening to the mostly heartfelt comments by the people with whom I've discussed the many news articles about those issues that speak to my heart.

On forums, the anonymity lends an air of 'safety' and things people would be uncomfortable or afraid to say to someone else in a face to face situation, are shared easily.  And this I know because I am one of those people.  I hasten to add that lack of ease in no way negates the validity of those thoughts and feelings, regardless of whom they come from.  It only speaks to a certain discomfort in social settings.  Even the quiet ones have ideas on how things should be or could be.  I have learned too in that time, that it is critical to ones argument, (and I use that word with reluctance because that is an activity that I am engaging in less and less these days), it is critical to do your absolute best to know your subject, be willing to change your perspective if you are shown new information, and speak with integrity and respect.  I learned this, because it is absolutely easy to expose a fool because you see, we have the internet, and we have Google and we have Wikipedia and we have…….I'm sure you get the point.  And I never cease to be amazed at how little people make use of all these tools for understanding, choosing instead to fall back on uninformed opinion, myths, and rumours shared on the street, etc.

And one more thing to ponder:   I don't feel like integrity or respect is something that the governing 'parties' or the media are showing all of the voting Canadian public.  There are going to be five parties names listed on the ballots that we will be marking on May 2, 2011.  And one of those parties would like to address that same voting public, but they aren't being given the same standing as the other four parties, including one which has, as their nightly 'wet dream'; the possibility of this country breaking up. And what seems to me to be the icing on the cake, the government, whose job it is to 'protect that democratic ideal' of all Canadians, acquiesces (or is complicit?) with that same media, in controlling and limiting information.  And don't get me wrong, I'm sure that most of those news people, are nice folks, and if they have given it any thought, they really think they are doing a good and practical thing for Canada, or at the most benign, haven't cared enough to give it a thought that they are stifling true democracy.  But I'm not inclined to have 'benign' feelings these days when it comes to the mountain of abuses that we humans heap upon the heads of absolutely anything that gets in our way, be it on the political level or environmental or any other for that matter.

The interesting thing is that same effort to manipulate society by not providing ALL the information, has been the catalyst that has caused me to actually look up information about a particular Canadian political party, i.e. the one they choose to ignore.  For the past however many years that I've voted, I have been content to pick up the odd bit here or there about government 'stuff' and I've done my share of whining and complaining, but I can't say I ever cared enough to do more than that minimum, and oh yes, mark a ballot.  But beyond that…..no.  But to get back to 'that party', at the same time, I've looked at 'media' articles about this particular party followed up by the comments, and I am not surprised to have to say, that I'm seeing the same kind of comments on the subject of this party and it's hopes, dreams and intentions, as is evidenced on those other forums that I used to hang out on.   Well, that's not exactly true - it would be more accurate to say the majority of the comments go no further than, that they should quit their whining and just go away.  That's the majority of them.  Little if any comment on the specifics of their platform, little effort to refute them, (respectfully of course with 'evidence' to back up their side) and from that, one can only assume that those making the statements have pretty much gone with rumor and personal opinion based on no information other than others opinions and …..

At this point, I can honestly say that I'm not sure who I will vote for, but we know what we've got, we know what we had and now I know what my other choices are and I can't help but feel that the world is in a time of the beginnings of a momentous change on all sorts of levels, and perhaps we have evolved to where we must begin making decisions based on how we would like our world to be, as opposed to voting out of fear.  We've come a long way in this world and particularly since the computer age began.  It has brought us to the brink, and how we choose today has ramifications for not only our particular neighborhoods and our towns and cities, but this entire world and the future of our existence.
That our media and our 'democratically elected governments' intentionally rob us of all the information necessary to make our choices is a travesty, but in my opinion, as a human being, it is a greater travesty that we sit back and let them make that choice for us.  The Green Party are people who's at heart, basic desire is to leave a planet for our great-great grandchildren that is habitable and not only allows us to survive, but will find us in a position to thrive physically and mentally.  They neglect none of the 'issues' that are near and dear to the common man's heart, but they put a long range 'spin' on their plans, unlike what we've endured til now which is, party after parties, cycle of back-scratching and posturing and positioning for the next election.

I am tired of that, I am tired of being manipulated in every aspect from the food that I eat to who I vote for.  I am tired of hearing about an ever growing list of extinctions and human caused environmental catastrophes, and one financial scandal after another that invariably leaves the little guy reeling and bleeding in the streets while the 'big' guys strut and pat themselves on the back for being so damn clever.  That is what our 'fear' has gotten us.  Now is the time to begin thinking for ourselves and demanding that the change begins.
So what is the debate, the original issue that I was dealing with?    To open up to the changes that are happening within my soul.  But I think that is a topic for another day.  I've said some things today that have been bothering me and the pressure is off so I think that I will leave you to mull over what I've shared here, and maybe you will agree with me, and maybe you won't, but that's ok because in the end, it's all just opinion isn't it?