How to Relax (if only for a moment)

So we're driving down the road on our way to the pizza place and I said to Don, "that if I was any more relaxed, I'd be in a coma".  A bit of context would probably make this more meaningful wouldn't it?  Hmmm, well in the current time, we are in the process of moving.  We're a week and a half away from being able to move into the house that is being built and the new owners get this house in four weeks.  The new place is three hours away and we have to move a tractor, five pieces of tractor equipment, all our house stuff and two horses and so far I have no fences built there and I have two chickens who don't have a chicken house to go to there.  Easy move?  No, don't think so but that is the totally cool thing about my opening statement.  Seriously, in spite of all this, I am calm, cool and entirely collected.  I should mention that in my younger days and right up until about two years ago, I was a chronic worrier to the point where even if all was fabulous, I still worried about the 'what ifs'.  What if I have the horses and can't feed them in ten years?  What if we can't afford to buy hay and I have to face selling them or what if my hay guy quits producing hay or what if our company doesn't continue to do good business when we're ready to plan our retirement.....  I think you get the point and you can see why my state of calm is so noteworthy.

About four years ago a new friend loaned me a book and that was really the beginning of the new and improved version of me, the me that is becoming more peaceful as each day goes by.  The book was Conversations With God (Book 1) by Neale Donald Walsch.  It was like a light went on in my head, and that book was quickly followed by the second, which led to The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle which led to another and another.....My current two favourite books are the third in the series of 'Conversations' books and The Power of Now.  At the same time I had begun meditating and for the first time in my life I began to truly focus on 'attaining' peace, looking for heaven on earth as it were.

The first year was somewhat forced as far as the meditation was concerned.  I had no idea that we humans are compulsive thinkers.  I discovered that as quickly as I had one thought the next one was closing the gap.  As a general rule, it's tough quieting ones mind and putting reins on 'the monkey mind', but because I have tended to be a busy person who has lots of things on the go, it seemed doubly difficult.  But I prevailed with the help of a lovely CD called Nada Himalaya (available for download here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eW4KYS13cZ0 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eW4KYS13cZ0).  Bit by bit, for a moment or two now and again, the 'monkey' learned to doze off and those moments continue to increase in frequency and length.

I learned too about meditating throughout the day no matter what I'm doing.  One of my favorite place to remember to do this is when I'm standing at the kitchen sink and washing dishes.  The water is warm and sudsy, the house is quiet and I take a deep breath and as the air gently comes out, I let my shoulders drop down, loose their tension......and I work reeeeally hard at not working really hard to relax.  Instead I just let the relaxation sweep over me like a gentle wave.  The hard part that comes right on the heels of that flow is putting away the impulse to think about the process which would defeat the whole exercise.  But with time and practice, that second of absolute mental quietness becomes two seconds, then three and so on.  This is also a great thing to do when you're outside working in the garden or walking the dog.  Stop what you are doing, whatever it might be, breeaathe and let go of the cares and thoughts that occupy your mind, and just feel that tiny kernel of peace growing a little bigger in your soul each time.  I think that as you do this practice, it strengthens mind connections, making it easier to sink into that quiet state more quickly and more automatically.  What you are doing here is beginning a habit, but one that you've chosen and one that is beneficial in every way to you. 

As time has gone by, I've found that my quietness of spirit is spreading out into the rest of my life and in those moments that come daily to all of us, that used to aggravate me, get me all riled up, have me thinking unkind thoughts, it's becoming more likely that after a moment or two of indulging in the negative, that I will release it instead of holding the hurt or irritation close, push it away and direct my gaze elsewhere.  Like maybe instead, I'll just soak in the blueness of a spring sky, or the whiteness of the clouds piled up along the horizon. 

Of course, there are detractors of Mr. Walsch's books, Eckart Tolle's writings, even detractors of the very idea of seeking real serenity.  And they all have feelings and opinions on these subjects that are valid - to them.  They live with a belief system that feels right to them and that's wonderful.  If they find fulfillment then I am happy for them.  All I can say in response, is that I am a different person and what floats their boat, is like an anchor dropped through the bottom of mine.  I think you simply need to look at the results in each 'way', to see whether it is good for that person.  There is room for billions of different opinions on every possible subject and if your opinion, your choices bring you to a point of spiritual quietude, compassion for everyone including those who don't agree with you, a willingness to learn to be non-judgemental, patient and accepting of other peoples directions in life, then that is the road that you should be on.  And that's why I am here, because it gives me joy, peace and understanding.  Through the last three or four years, I've followed signposts that have come up along the way, I've been willing to step outside the religious box that I used to live in and I'm finally beginning to actually enjoy life.  What more could I ask?

By the way, we've had Ambra and Sierra (the horses) for the last fourteen years of their lives, so I guess it could be said that all my worrying was a total waste of time.  Should have spent it doing something that I enjoyed wouldn't you say?  Anyway, here's to an amazing day for you!